Apparently this is what you have to resort doing when you are not leaving at home rather in a Rehabilitation Center for different people.
I slept well and was not disturbed by the local cacophony at the apartment: night screaming, people using all sort of profanity and cursing at the NRS personnel and the usual actions of the local rehabilitation center in Bakersfield.
The whole nine yard of a hell-like experience. If you understand what I am saying
Yet I am used to be left in the hell of CNS... Perhaps it would have been better to see a different sort of hell, this is all too real and feels very very undeserved.
Or perhaps yes it is my fault for not passing away on the right time.. your choice.
I am pointing the finger at you dear GOD for being that cruel of course. You are the ultimate responsible of everything. You have to take responsibility of your action.
I wake up and I am feeling sick to my stomach. I had a Milanta at the AAC today after so much asking and begging. This is the things I have difficult coping with. I am a patient at CNS and CNS is downplaying everything without taking full responsibility and being seriously at this matter.
They told me you are somatizing or stressing out your environment,
Melissa Morison the CNS Nurse is always playing silent and deviate from the real case of the situation. Whenever she is there, as most of the time there is no medical personal at the clinic.
Miss Amanda, Tami and Laveesha at CNS have the key for the nurse cabinet. They supplement the medical personnel at CNS as there is hardly any nurse let alone a doctor on duty that can take care of things.
The nurse Melissa has run out of any useful actions for me.
More importantly I frankly stopped trusting her.
And I am very frustrated with the medical assistance at CNS Bakersfield.
Melissa function is to absorbs this criticism, I got used to the CNS people very well.
At the clinic they all support one another, they ping the root cause to us as to be behavioral and with this the situation for them is closed and sweep under the rag.
In my opinion this shows how litttle the people at the clinic care.
Nothing change for them, they get a pay check anyway, it is part of their daily job, their salary,benefit and remaining compensation does not change anyway.
In my opinion Melissa has shown me to be very dismissive and on the top of everything inefficient.
On the other hand I am sleeping better.
Per CNS recommendation I am using hear plugs to sleep in isolation for the local disturbances
In addition I am using the night byte I can cling my teeth on it.
Frankly speaking I don't like being at CNS beside I do not trust CNS at all.
The picture above is a fulfilling and worthwhile vision of survival.
I am feeling screwed up anyway.
I have so much coffee in my system as it is required for me to do so.
I can not stand the environment and I need the sweat taste of coffee and note coffee is bad for me.. but hey who cares anyway...
yesterday evening as always I went to the gym a place were I see a lot of normal people from the environment .I have been told to use the world environment or community as it is better than referring to the as Normal People.
Well they are normal people indeed as opposite the nor so normal ones of the apartments. Which is definitely a place I do not like to be confined.
Can't stand it, can't accept, sorry guys stronger that me.
As I was saying yesterday evening I made my quickly grocery list - I am very used to do it by myself by now..
I had some quick dinner and then hit the gym.
At the gym, it is a place I love to be anyway.
I had kickboxing with Scott and later cycle with Misty
It is a touch of normality into my crazy, very artificial life at CNS
Kickboxing is a mix of movements for legs and for the arm.
Scott follows a set of movement designed to improve flexibility and stamina.
I am fine with it, Later I had static cycle with Misty.
I must have only several tens of picture of her.. nevertheless every time she patiently wait for me to take a picture. Before me leaving.
Yesterday night I had permission to stay until 7:30 pm as I was feeling to stay that late.
I am having so much caffeine in my blood that it is now looking dark roasted.
Once done Cassandra came to pick me up.
She mentioned she had been on maternity leave.
This is the effect of drinking the water of Bakersfield.
It makes you going on maternity leave.
The smiling Misty at my left hand side.
I am running on coffee for sure.
Yes because I had to pour away the milk that had gone bad at the apartment.
I tasted it this morning and it was really rancid so I decided to get rid of it.
Normally it stays good for a whole week, I am not sure why this one went bad that early anyway.
I had a minimal breakfast with yogurt, blueberry and Cereal Medley.
Interesting picture per this morning.. some rain droplet on the flowers at the apartment.
Better this one than picture of the pile of recycling items, or things like that as at the apartment you can hardly get away from it.
I frankly made the decision long time ago that doing recycling is not worth the money nor a dignified action for me.
Some other patients attend public event to dive into the recycle trash and come back with large loads..
Well well, let them be, they are who they are and I am not any longer to be associated with this very reprehensible action. Yes in my humble opinion right now it feels like a reprehensible action.
During lunch I called my mother in Italy using Skype.
She is doing fine, her mobility is reduced as she has a leg that is giving her a lot of pain.
Nevertheless is taking care of getting ready for the Christmas event.
She made by her self this decoration, I wonder how she managed to hung it to the top of the door for her apartment in Verona, Italy.
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