Friday February 10

I had a terrible night last night. the guys were party down the apartment, banging on the table, rattling the chairs on the floor. The guys where Kathy and Chris M. if you really want a full disclosure.

Next time I will provide a picture of them partying just outside my bedroom if you want to have a proof of what I am saying.

Today  I have been told at the apartment quiet time is between 10pm and 8 am.

It is always the same story, CNS has the last word.

Would it be a hotel I would not recommend it to any one.

I would quickly transfer out as I am done with this class of service and with the management of the hotel.

As I am stranded there without any hope nor future to get out I am venting my frustration by way of this blog.

Ad memoriam: when the kids will be older to read it, they will wonder what was going on at CNS.
While they had they life in La Canada they will remember they have lost a few experience of Bakersfield.

 I did  complaint to the CNS sups  for the very exasperating and inhumane treatment of myself.
The others are thriving in this mess, they party and smoke, enjoying themselves.

I am the only one that is suffering as my shunt is hurting and hurting.

Let's increase the dose of Buspirone of course the doctor says. Yes let;'s increase it as this man is not doing well.


I  have not been sleeping well last night  and I am very edgy.. with CNS and everyone  of the patient at CNS.

I am not well.  I am not well overall. I am treated very well here at the Homes of Hope.
Everybody is nice with me and helps me a lot.

I had a second breakfast here at the Home of Hope, a lot of sugary food... it shows my frustration with everything...
I am going to buy chocolate for me as I am not really doing great at CNS...


Yesterday evening I did not go to the gym. I wanted to cook.
I made staffed zucchini boat.
It take an hour of preparation and I overall I was taking my time to make sure it all fitted together.

Here are the basic ingredients laid out on the counter

Here are the carved zucchini with the heart removed.

I use a large pan with coconut Oil to cook the meat first

The group beef was roasted with Zucchini heart and the ragu from my freezer.

I cooked it all well, I seasoned it with spice.

When ready I started filling the zucchini boats.

I laid out the zucchini on an aluminum oven sheet.

On the top I sprinkled shredded mozzarella cheese, cheddar and Monterrey jack.

I also added some Parsley leaves. I cooked it all in the oven at moderate temperature.

So here we go. Home made Zucchini float.

I went to AAC  to read the newspaper as always.

I then had a tense conversation with my Case Manager Jolanta ( see below).

She mentioned I have no memory so I can not be a functional member of the society.

I have been in therapy many years at no effects.

Obviously there is something wrong with the program.

In theory it should be working. In practice as I am stuck it is not working.

I guess this is a big defeat for CNS and the program.

I am disable and so be it. I have to accept I can not do anything.

At least one thing you have achieve it dear  Case Manager

Why worry if you are a disable person...

I try to talk  with my Case Manager Jolanta. We are not understanding each other.  

Thus far she  is in charge of this game.

I am frankly very uninterested in talking any further with her. 

She is always so destructive with me and so negative with me.

I am very happy to avoid any further contact or interaction with her.

I am ready to switch to a different Insurance Carrier as I am far from being happy with the current one.

I came here at the Homes of Hope.

I am enjoying the environment very much. 

They are all good persons very dedicated and very keen in doing the best job they possible can.

Today we all had a few slices of  pizza from Costco.

I I had brought a full meal to eat with  a couple of oranges to eat.

I really had to eat the oranges. They were in poor shape and  they would have not survived another round of transportation.

Richard is working really hard here at the Homes of Hope.

He just told me he is trying to do his best for the Director of the Center Mr John.

Already let's switch gear to a light tone

I believe our youngest Lapo will push to watch this movie. It is called the Lego Batman movie.

It is 104 minutes long.  He does not comes this weekend with Simona.

Only our eldest is coming to Bakersfield.

So Lapo it will be for a different time.

Instruction for the weekend.

As always I can walk to Trader Joe's should the rain stop.

Simona and Chicco will come in the early afternoon.

We will go as always to eat at California Chicken 

Well the conversation with my case manager today was about money.

Because it is written in my Program I know that I am poised to receive money every Thursday.

Together with the CNS's one $75 the program says that I will have extra $40 from my Personal Account.

Now the CNS Program comes from CNS. 

Last time there were no money available on my Personal Account.

This is frustrating me over and over, the CNS program says one thing and the reality is another one.

Now how hard is to make sure that my Personal Account is fully replenished on a regular basis?

If you really want to be sure just set up a money transfer with whatever agency is able to do so on a regular basis. I would recommend using Wells Fargo Bank as it is the bank for the family

I am feeling distressed and lost in this world of CNS.

Enjoy the reading and your weekend of being at home with your own family.

Giuseppe Rossi