Thursday April 27

I woke up with the usual pain in my right eye. It is as if something were pulling from the inside out.

My Nurse Melissa  and everybody says there is nothing wrong with my head.

the pain I feel is real.


Their saying use Tylenol - my liver thanks a lot - or mediation or else


The inconvenient true fact of my life is that my head hurts and in my experience something inside is wrong.

It is changing the position from a laying  flat in bed to a standing  position that makes my body change the distribution of its fluids. As a result   in the morning my head hurts.

Obviously everybody  has accepted the way it is and gave up on me.
I am on the receiving end of the pain and I am frankly quite unimpressed by the care I am receiving.

I am  paying  the consequence of my sport activity and of my own doing.


C'est la vie mon pot, tu es un patient difficile... if you want to know this is  French so you can learn French by reading this blog, n'est pas? Alors d'acord. C'est a vous .

There are only a few roses worth the time and the byte of the net

I pulled from somewhere this picture of Ponte Pietra in Verona, Italy, my home town.

If you look carefully you will see many people attending an open air fair.

Enjoy the picture as I believe it is really remarkable.

It shows how things are done in a good day in Verona,  Italy: open air  market and open street.


This picture was taken by the sister of a  school mate of mine.
. His name is Flavio and her sister is Tatia.

The park  in the morning during my brief walking around.

Feeling the pain in my head and getting really annoyed by it because it drives me insane.


As every Thursday of the week I was paid by CNS my very simple salary consisting in $75 for food and in $24 for the other activities.  Huge amount of money...I have been told but what I do at CNS for it?

So much money I can barely believe I am in a such generous regime. If I were to rely entirely on CNS I would be begging around for money. Except this part of town has already too many people walking around and asking for money.

Luckily for me  there are other people in my  family that are thinking about me, far or close-by they are making sure I am taken care of.

Another activity would  also be to recycle, there are patients that religiously go throw  every single bin  to collect  things good  to recycle.

I  am at a certain level in my recovery to avoid it carefully. Not that I have not take part in the past.

However in the past I have never searched into the trash bin for things to pick up.  At this point I am clearly openly looking with a notion of disapproval   to  the ones that are reaching in the trash bin for recycle material.

I do not do  any longer the recycle activity. It is far below my current  level of recovery.

Yesterday evening I went to the gym among the people of the community. I signed myself out from the apartment. I walked over there where I  had cycle with Miss Cassie and then later Body pump with Miss Sylvia.

It might be my impression but when I call them as Miss Cassie and Miss Sylvia Walker they are feeling I am a bit formal with them. It shows I am respecting them as a person. I learned to address each and everyone in the community this way. Static cycle at the gym is a good cardio activity with Cassie.

Afterward I took the class of body pump with Sylvia. I use barbell weight and free weight. And this is the origin of my increase blood pressure. Because you see there is a strong correlation between my physical activity I am involved with and my blood pressure. As a result I am paying the price of every simple effort the next day in the form of my shunt hurting. There  is a very strong correlation.

Also I noticed that it has an impact to my shunt  when the weather changes and the air pressure varies.

This is the way I would like CNS to approach this issue. In a plausible  and believable way rather than searching for some very odd explanation that have no clear construction.


Anyway yesterday evening before going to the gym I made a good farfalle pasta.

I prepared my home made sauce . I used the cooked eggplant  from the other day. I set in a container the eggplant,  basil, garlic and sliced heirloom tomatoes.

I added some pepper flakes and then a can of anchovies

I cooked and mixed everything on the stove.

Look at the rich ingredient of this home made sauce.

I made sure that the pasta was done al dente. 

I reserved a cup of the pasta water for the sauce.

I pored the water in the sauce and finally I added the farfalle  pasta al dente.

I saute everything in the large pan  for a few minutes

I also added some mozzarella bytes.

Et voila.

Farfalle pasta with tomato,  anchovy and eggplant sauce.

A great dinner  to have.


For lunch today I brought the left over pasta, a bit of salad and an apple.

Anchovy is a great and versatile food to keep available in the pantry.

The  temperature will be 25C for the next couple of days. Then it will jump to 31C Sunday and Monday.  Tuesday through Tuesday will be very unpleasantly hot  34, 37 and 37C.


Amyway today is the Grocery Shopping list at the apartment for shopping during the weekend.

A lot of veggie, white meat and fruits. A new canister of Oatmeal, Olive Oil and the normal staples of a good diet.

Eating healthy for feeling healthy.

I took the bus and when to the Mnt Vernon Clinic. During this week over there they are showing a bunch of Video of stories about brain injury patient.

There is no interest by CNS to let it go anytime soon.

I  carry the scars with me in my body, my tracheotomy scar, my shunt in my head many other scars..
What do you want more from me CNS.. at some point you will have to admit it is time to let it go please.

I am marked for ever what is so difficult to admit for you all dear CNS?

BTW your you tube videos are looking like a  simple self serving propaganda.

It is like a regime that post on your tube its very own propaganda video for  the pure self serving interest of patting oneself on the back for a good job.

Your marketing guys would be better spend time in reviewing the real part of life that is of the meaning for the word a Meaningful Recovery.


In my onion CNS should learn to let it go...

It is all very sad ad very unbelievable.

Wednesday April 26

I wake up with the usual pain in my right eye along the inner side.

It is where the shunt in my head is located. I normally wake up with a pain that is very strong. At time it is as if  the inside of my eye were to pull the bulb upward.

I took a warm shower and afterward cranked up the cold water. It did not worked. I have been told to use cold water by my Case Manager.  Obviously to be a Case Manager you have to be a licensed medical  doctor. There is a clear correlation between the two activities.

Briefly  I called nursing to get Tylenol. As they were busy I chased nursing around to get what I needed for my head.

It is always the same story  when you have something you are welcome to get to nursing and ask for them to medicate you.

I had a healthy on simple breakfast

I returned the receipt today for the money management program.

I am at a fixed income set by the Insurance. It is $75 for food and $24 for the so called outing.

Whenever I catch my IPC she is handing me out some money. She is giving me a $40 or $45 depending on how much is left on my Personal Account or depending on what she wants me to have. 

At CNS debit card has not arrived yet, everything goes by checks. Even the balance on the Personal Account is not accessible by  the Account holder. In this case my wife.

There is always the trill of knowing how much money is on this  Personal Account.

Call is XXI  century technology

Call it the past century. Anyway my wife has to replenish my personal account, CNS is supposed to let her know when the balance is low, and the story of the money keeps going around and around.

I am frankly frustrated by the obvious lack of communication and lack of absence of a modern time accounting system.

Patient  experience week.. share your experience. Those are the experience I am sharing.

I walked around and decided to stop trowing the trash of belonging to the CNS . Nobody of the other patients were doing it anyway, so why me.. Beside read below about house keeping experience.

Yesterday I checked on house keeping they have not being doing anything for me.

After cleaning I pick up the phone and called at the reception. Miss Barrios picked up the phone lessened to my complaint. She asked me whether  I wanted to go there to file a written complained.

I firmly declined because CNS has to decide what their role is going to be.

Either House keeping cleans or it does not. If it is a man power issue then hire more people to clean.

If not let me know in advance and I will lower my expectation even further down.

I am feeling so frustrated and neglected by your house cleaning  bad cleaning practice.

this is the dirt accumulated in the  aluminum plate of  the stove

This is me taking care of myself.

In my experience  the CNS house keeping has  failed on its most basic job
Housekeeping does not dust any thing, does not clean anything, in my experience it is a non existing service.

Anyway bad things happen while at CNS. 


Yesterday evening I wrote a letter to my kids

I have been involved in  a cooking spree

I made staffed zucchini quash. First I cooked the mushroom risotto (authentic Riso Arboreo) I had purchased at Trader Joe's

I cooked it a skillet following the instruction.

In my current assessment I  added too much water, yet I was following the instruction.

I mixed the rice with the Zucchini heart curving that I had  cut in small pieces.

I filled the zucchini squash and set in the oven for about 45 minutes to cook.

I added Parmesan Cheese at the top.

 I make the assessment that the eggplant  I purchased last Saturday had to be used while still fresh.

 As a result of this call, I cut it in small slices

I cut as well some fresh basil into small bytes

I used  the large silver skillet  to quickly cook the eggplant slices.

The skillet got heated in high heat 

I  cooked the eggplant slices in batches.

It just takes a few minutes per side because I normally cook both sides.

When ready I  set it in a plastic container by alternating salt, garlic powder, paprika flakes and Olive Oil. A generous amount of Olive Oil is needed to let soak the eggplant slices.

It will rest in fridge for a few days. The Oil keeps the air away, preventing oxidation  and preserve the food. This is a good way to preserve food.

Need to leave

Wednesday April 26 wishful thinking

I had a terrible ride to the Mnt Vernon Clinic today.

A patient came strong against me and she was really mean to me.

She used words that really offended me.

She is so mean and so awful. She is an old lady with a lot of wrinkle and a bad but really bad temper.

The official CNS excuse is that she is suffering from aphasia and that at time words come out of the mouth and she does not know.

The reality is that inside herself she is mean spirited


I went to the Mnt Vernon clinic there was a bunch of marketing self serving video shot at a different location. The clinic and equipment depicted in the video was nothing like the mnt vernon clinic. Also the therapist were nothing like the real life that is in Bakersfield.

In my judgement, it shows what CNS would like to make believe the others that have not seen the  real place at  Mnt Vernon.

I will call it a distorted truth and basically a wishful thinking.
The marketing people might have find the inspiration from Mr Trump words on his first 100 days in office. Same approach that is wishful thinking

Tuesday April 25

It is a cold day in Bakersfield is it 20 Centigrade

In Italy it is celebrated the Liberation day this commemorates the end of the occupation by the foreign German forces aka the Nazi.

Today is the feast of St. Mark in Italy. It is a major  celebration for  the city of Venice. St. Mark is the patron of the city.  I wished a good Onomastico to a good friend of mine. His name is Marco.
He lives in France and he is married to Marie-France.

His has three kids. He  is doing fine, looking for the next job. In his field people do move around the industry quite a lot,  when you have skills you are always looking around to get a position that allows you to improve. It is called normal attrition of the industry. At my time analog designers were really hard to find and to retain.

At the apartment I am always noticing the beautiful roses that are so well maintained.
Among the gardeners, I got to know Jean Dalia. Jean speaks a good French.  His name is in fact french. I is pronounced Shc-eean Dalia with the accent on the last letter 'a' as the French people use the accent.
 We talked in French a week ago and he gave me his business card. He mentioned that Dr Ashley speaks a good French as well.

I had a strong headache this morning, it affected my right eye,  I felt pulling it from the inside.

My Case Manager mentioned that it is due to the change of pressure to my head. Tilting from  a position of laying down to a standing  this is what makes my right  eye hurting.

Anyway a couple of Tylenol tablets  took the edge off .Every day there is something wrong with my eyes or my head. There is never going to be an end story to it.

One day is the responsible is the atmospheric pressure that changes,  another  other day it is because I have been exercising too hard at the gym.

There might be a possible explanation for any one of this matter. The fact is that my head and shunt are not working  right now. 

This morning I have been very helpful at the apartment. I  took care of all the trash I could find around.  Before taking it I asked if it was for me. They say yes. so I took it away.

Nobody else seems to care about it.

I went down the park for my morning walk. Pushing from my heel up to get a balanced walking 

It is getting better. The exercise at the gym that  helps me a lot  is called the rotary torso one.

It is a machine where I work on my abdominal muscles which are used for walking and for stability.

The park in the morning  I am breathing in and out quietly.

Yesterday evening I made myself  a good dinner

Boiled eggs with spinach, avocado,  carrot and  slices of brie cheese.

Olive Oil and Balsamic vinegar to dress

Afterward I went to the gym by myself.

I walked over there on time for my Yoga lesson with Lilli.

After Yoga I had cycle with Misty. She is the nice lady behind me. She is always kind to me and allows to take a picture with me after class. She also told me see you next week.

At 7pm it was time for me to leave the gym. I accurately stretched,  rolled my Yoga mat and left.

I walked back to the apartment and signed back in at  7:40 pm .

My sign out sheet, has a long list of sign in and out.

I had a light snack with peanut butter and honey and a banana. Protein and carbs.

I slept well. Last night

I had a very good breakfast this morning, a  self made one

Oatmeal with peanut butter and honey. 

Chia seeds with yogurt. 

Blueberry, with Cereal and milk

Finally a good coffee. Black with little sugar and frothed milk.

I took the bus and went to the AAC. Over there I am  typically reading the newspapers and leave.

My program is such that I am staying there until 11am then I am signing out and leave for my work program.

Here at the House of Hope in Niles street I have a desk and a computer.

I am reviewing the salient facts of the day for my memory 

For lunch I had the left over salad from yesterday evening and an egg.

An orange and a slice of brown bread.

This is the good way of eating.

Today at the apartment I am planning to take my time to cook.

My mother is doing fine back in Italy.

She mentioned that she has a strong toothache.

In a couple of days she has to go to the her accountant for filing the taxes. A required activity for all the Italian people that  are obeying to the law.

Anyway she sent me the following picture of the flower from her balcony.

I just realized that the little plant in her balcony is a plant of tangerine.

My mother mentioned that my brother Francesco and his wife Sara are going the house we have at the beach in Fano until Sunday.

This is an ancient house that belonged to my great gran father.

It is a piece of history. The house was really large and it is composed by two independent units.

Since the passing of my grand parents it has been split  between my mother and my uncle.

It is fine that way.

My lunch has been the left over from yesterday evening.

Today my plan for cooking is to use the zucchini quash I have at the apartment.

I certainly will find a good way for using it.

I already have something in mind.

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Monday April 24 2017

It is a mild day in Bakersfield.

The air is very pleasant and the morning temperature is reinvigorating.

I am peeling away my clothes very carefully.

The flowers at the apartment do look constantly in good shape

This morning I realized that the flowers vase in my apartment needed water.

It was really dry.

So before leaving  I made sure the soil was really moist by watering profusely.

My walk in the nearby park is always a pleasure feature of my day. 

This morning there was no newspaper at the kiosk near the apartment.

 It is OK as I had one at the AAC nevertheless.

I read the salient news of the day and then at 11am I left.  Kayla drove me here at the Homes of Hope for my work program.

Last Sunday April 23 I went to church first of all.

The gospel invites the community to be courageous.

The church was packed tight, I managed to squeezed in next to Rose. She is Cassie's grandma.

Rose mentioned that Cassie had a cold and was not able to come to church on Saturday.

At church I gave the whole outing money of $24  as offer because I did not go to the movie last Saturday.

I stopped going at the movie long time ago. 

Recently there have not been any good one to  watch for me.

Beside I like to be in control of my own time and action.

I prefer to abstain rather than to watch anything at random.

I rather stay back and write, then I give the money to church.

After church a quick lunch and  I signed out at 2pm. I  went to the gym by myself.

I followed my own  program listed above. Slowly increasing the weight of  my  exercises, with extreme care. 

In fact I have to be careful with my body and my blood pressure.

I stayed until ten minutes past four and walked back to the apartment.

I signed back in a 4:43 pm

Last Sunday my weight was  171.2 lb

I am getting slimmer and slimmer.

Today they asked me if I had a weight in mind.

I checked on my weight on the web.

A typical weight for me  is between 141 lb and 190 lb. The arithmetic average is 166 lb.

Right now I am 171 lb. This means I am still 5lb above the arithmetical average.

Last Sunday I made an amazing farfalle pasta with my home made sauce

I chopped some garlic and let is brown in a pan 

I added some fresh Basil and cut  a heirloom tomato. I added a bit of  red pepper flakes together with a can of sardine (the violet can on the image on the top)

Here you see red chills flakes

While the sauce was going I cooked the pasta al dente

When ready "al dente" I combined the pasta with the source. I preserved a glass of pasta water to moist my sauce.

I quickly cooked for a few minutes on high heat all together.

Finally it was ready for eating. I added some raw Olive Oil. 

I love pasta. It has been a long time I did not had any, but now I am back in the game.

Simply amazing 

The Mediterranean diet has been proven over and over to be the best one among the many dieting you can choose.

Last Saturday I  took care of all my own personal items at the apartment, I did all the normal cleaning of the weekend.

I cleaned it all by myself. I took care of the dust above the fridge and around the frame.

There is so much dust in the air. Anyway it is all taken care , the carpets, tiles, bathroom and places higher up  where normally housekeeping does not cover for me. I took a chair and stood over it to clean.

Then I was ready at 10:30 am to walk to Trader Joe's.

I  arrived there and greeted everybody. I brought a flower to Jamie as always.

She appreciated this gesture.

It was a really hot days so I had short sleeve

I purchased all good items, mostly Organic food.

At the end my tally was $90.77

It is all well. Finally I took pictures with Jamie with a green shirt next to me.

Hard to kneel down and come up again for me. Jamie helped me to get up on my feet.

She is such a wonderful person, everybody at the store knows me and I am spending time to greet everybody. When I have time we exchange a bit more information.

Three simple bags full of good Organic food.

By the way I finally found  the decaf coffee. 

I am using it  for  my coffee maker.

My IPC also came to my rescue and she gave me $40 of cash advance.

Whenever I low in cash she is ready to make sure I have enough money.

Simona mentioned that I am using the personal account like a bag of candies.. she is right. You see I am following my own  best judgment. 

Last Saturday I did not go to the movie, no interest in the showing.

I wrote a letter to my mother in Italy.

I wrote her in Italian. I mailed it to her on Saturday evening from Bakersfield.

The postage total amount is worth  four forever stamps to reach Italy.

Normally the mail takes a couple of weeks.

My mother back in Italy has found a piece of history.

At the time  this diploma of karate belt was issued I was barely 20 years old

I am forcing myself to eat all the accumulated food at the apartment.

Today I ate the last crockpot chicken I made. Too many potatoes. I am over it for the time being.

Well as I discovered pasta again, I am switching to pasta eating for the time being.

Simona is still attending a conference at MIT in Boston. Simona is going to be tomorrow from the East Coast. 

For the time being my mother in law Anna is taking care of the kids.