Wednesday Dec 31

Yesterday it was Tuesday  and I went to the gym.

I had boot-camp with Johnny and I did my very best. I like to the gym as I am treated as a normal person with a name and  a good respect.

At the gym I met the usual acquaintances.

I greeted Frank at my left hand side and Jerry at my right hand side.

Frank mentioned that by next year he is going to charge me for every picture I am taking with him..

At bootcamp I met Dee, Sharita, Tom and many other people I am familiar with.

I was then dancing Zumba with Mike and it was time to leave.

Before leaving I met Dwain here pictured below.

He greeted me by saying " Hi Young man how are you doing?"

Finally  before leaving I met Maria and greeted her.

Kyle provided me transportation to and from the gym.. Full limousine service courtesy of CNS.. 

The gym is my outlet to go and to feel a normal person away from the CNS environment,..that honesty I can not take any longer.

Of course after the gym I had a snack: a yummy piadina -pita bread width green beans..
A healthy snack ...

Eating healthy always..

Sincerely

Giuseppe

December 31 last day of the year

Let's gather the thoughts for the new 2015 years.. As you can see it is full of new year good resolutions..


I would like to express my profound displeased for being at CNS and for being provided a sub par service from all of you  people.. Being checked on everything I do .. on whether I  take a shower or brush my teeth or else.. whether I am taking my meds.. or if I am labeling my food items .. this is a way for leaving not dignified even to a dog.. as a dog does not have to check into the house whenever it gets in.. a dog does not have to check out whenever it want to go out.. a dog does not have close circuit camera in his little alcove like me.. a dog is a dog. I feel I am being transformed into a dog at CNS..


I am really tired of being treated like a minus habens".. not being able to do by myself anything..
path finding? here is an idea for Sarah path finding and more independence...

Freedom from all of your patients..
 Enough is enough. Don't you agree?



Particularly  I am really bored by being handed over little tasks that are beyond the capabilities of a normal person.. that have nothing to do with my personal profession..

I am not a normal person of course as I  am not treated like a normal person..
Cant't be a normal person as since according to CNS I am carry around a stigmata. Hence the motto at CNS should be "TBI once TBI for ever"..

 Just in case you have forgotten what was like before it.. I have not forgotten..
Hence this end of the year letter to all of you to definitely mentioned I am TIRED OF BEING HERE..
Understood? To whoever is listening I am totally done with you ..Please Sarah do something..remember the squeaky wheels get the grease


What is the solution?

No solution.. there is no place for me to go..perhaps I should go back to the homeless shelter at the S.Francis church to ask for a free lunch as I am in love with hand outs..

This is the season for handouts.. so please hand me out a bit of CHARITY..

After all I have been homeless for so many years.. stranded in a place that is a foreign place for me.. that I dislike from the top to the bottom..

So for new years it is important to gather my staff and get the hell out of this place.. I have already packed my staff at the apartment: I put all the summer items into two big containers and I am going to trough them away soon.. NEW YEAR BRINGS NEW RESOLUTION...

I  already mentioned to the person in charge of my persona that my patience for those items is running thin..ain't that difficult to trough everything away as a'int that difficult to pack it all and to take it away..


ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.. even for a saint - that I am not - my patience is running thin..

So Please CNS and Sarah is you care a bit let me break and go free...
otherwise I am taking my freedom with me everyday of the year..

This is a simple FREEDOM CHART..
I have stopped in many way to bring the news paper to OT. I have also stopped to trough the trash at CNS so that Doug can do some exercise.

Next I would like to stop BEING HERE AND TO GET THE HELL OUT,, without much drums nor much of a claps of hands as silently many of your patients have disappeared and also silently many of your NRS personnel has gone without saying hi (  I must saying showing their cowardly behavior ).
I have to say CNS is the place where NRS are coming on going as at a McDonald place .. obviously  both the compensation and retention package is similar, this is why you have very similar behavior from your low level employees.

Well here is the think I am writing to all of you today..

And of course for New year we will all go to the Swain Center to look into the eyes of our fellow inmate  and to claps our hands and to dance.. a  really  wonderful way to get started with the new years..
You are all invited to assist to this humbling and very humiliating  show of misfits.
Yes I am calling my fellow inmate at CNS as misfits.. no piety no compassion just wondering what the hell..
Have a great reading .. Sincerely
Giuseppe
Still capable of making its own decision ..

Thank you for reading and have a great day.
Sincerely
Giuseppe

Tuesday December 30th 2014

Already,

let's go back to my activities of yesterday evening.

As I was at home for the weekend yesterday pm I went to do grocery shopping.

This time it was a WINCO grocery shopping.

I have to confess that I really liked the place, good customer service and good offering of goods. Also good price as I have spent $75.66. I have purchased all I had on the list and I am very happy with the food choices they have, 

As I have brought the bag I did not have to pay for the plastic bags either.

I also have purchased a couple of items that normally I have it for Personal Shopping.. so overall it is a good deal to consider as an option. 

As I was there I have also  purchased a little candy stick for Sarah's youngest son.

This is the same candy stick at my apartment.. 

 I have brought it to the clinic this morning. It is on her desk..

This morning  I wake up early did my own staff and got ready for the bus.

As nobody came to check on me it means I am doing better and better.. 

Afterward the staff of CNS came to make sure I was taking the bus..

at the clinic I worked on my CR (Cognitive Rehab) PT for the mind.

Erica-sama was working with us.

I had two variable for auditory scanning, she was reading a passage about the Afghanistan war and the US effort and we had to keep track of certain words.

Finally she made us scan cards that she was holding. Each card  contained 3 by 3 letters. She showed us the card for 3 to 4 seconds and later she asked us about the content of the card.  She asked about on of the rows.. flexibility for the mind..

I had 77% for the row and 93%  for the card.

The goal is to maintains a score in the 90% for three time in a row.

Afterward I had Yoga with Amy. I brought her  Merry Xmas letters that I had written for her two daughters: Madison 11 and Olivia is 4.

Also I have brought a small magnet for the fridge to be used for holding some photo.

They are all small things that I like to share with them.

Today my therapy has been increased to do PT is addition to Yoga.. As I was not aware of the change..I will be doing more CR work (PT for the mind) and then starting tomorrow I will be ready for Yoga and PT together.

Working hard on my PT is good for my brain as it stimulates the production of the Growth hormone or IGF1 factor. 

As mentioned to you my brain is getting used to a higher level of  activity.

Going to the gym on a regular basis working hard at my best is key for me to move along..

Sarah knows it and she is tailoring my therapy as she understands it is best for me..

I am taking time off on both Saturday to attend the movie outing and on Sunday to go to church.

My family is doing great. Chicco our eldest son (9 years) is on school vacation as well as our youngest Lapo (5.5).

Chicco right now is enjoying is time off. Chicco is playing the piano and playing with the WEE.

Lapo is off from  Preschool and he is doing activities with his friend Kavon.

Me? I am working hard on everything at my best.. keeping up with my good job, as Sarah my wonderful Case Manager is always telling me to do..

Simona my wife is doing her best to provide me with the items I have been missing..

A new coat a new gym clothes .. she is the person I am going to to ask..

As Michael says.. "Happy wife Happy life!"  this is the way it is working for us..

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Monday December 29 2014

I have been at my formerly home for the past five days,
Over there it is always a busy place and particularly a place that I seldom recognize  as still mine.

Over there I am not any longer knowledgeable of  doing anything hence I feel very inadequate and unworthy.  There is a sense of in adequateness when being there..

My wife being the breadwinner of the house makes her very best to get things under control.
In doing so she is growing in a very odd way our two kids.,, I guess they are never busy doing anything whenever I am there.. hence I am very happy when I am not there.
In fact I am looking forward for not going back to that place formerly known as my  home.

In addition I am doing anything that I really want to do..
I am not allowed to cook,.I am only allowed to clean around my own staff.. I prefer to clean the apartment that I recognize as being my place..although on loan from CNS.. after more than two years is that a place to call home?



I had a great coffee at Intelligentsia

A great Sushi at Whole food..

I had a great pizza at Blaze Pizza - a pizza place where you order food on the go..I think it is a franchise here in California.

This is Chicco eating pizza with us.

We had a coffee at Intelligentsia a very good boutique coffee in Padadena

Chicco and Lapo having a snack after swimming..

my second breakfast.

At some point along the week we have been taking the boys to swimming lesson at the Rosebowl.

As it is cold both the boys have been swimming on the heated pool,

The instructor  - the girl with the white hat- is Jessica.

Maurice the other instructor wasn't working with the boys this time.

The other aspects of the visit is that  I have figure out that I was on my company's insurance for 14 moths after my stroke. Afterward I was switched to Simona's  group insurance as there is no Preexisting condition so Simona was able to pick me up immediately.

I have understood that as my virtuous gel  got removed from my left hand eye as I had a vitrectomy  

I am checked for a possible cataract on on my left  hand eye...

I guess there are money to be spent on the health care insurance .

By the way CNS was kind enough to give me  some two years old medication.. 

I mentioned to them that next time they are  packing it with me I will be trowing away..

For  Xmas we have been playing tombola with Raffaella.

Lapo won a lot of prices nevertheless he was crossed. Here is a picture of Lapo scrooge..

 it ended up with a big laugh from everybody.

Well here it is..

A wonderful aspect of being TBI is to have wonderful care all around..

I  also recommend you to get a TBI hence you can joint the team..

You know we are running low on patients around here.

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Tuesday December 23

Already, it is  a beautiful day here in Bakersfield, mid winter season is coming and a bit of fog is around the road .. as I mentioned a beautiful and peaceful day in the valley.
Yesterday evening after the clinic I  went back home and called our kids.
I found them playing outside together with Leslie Fernanda and Alan. They are Marina's kids. Marina is our nanny that has been with us for many years. She is part of our family.

Well as I mentioned the kids were busy playing as they are on Xmas break.

Simona made it back from S. Francisco where she has been attending meetings because of her job at Caltech.

She is able to keep up with her schedule because she is a tenacious and organized person.

Once at home I have been writing to my family. For Chicco and Lapo a good and positive letter.
In block letter and English.. I know they are going to cherish it.
I have been writing to my family everyday.. so I have a big pack of letter to share with them.

I have been preparing dinner. 

Chicken tenders season with herbs. Also I have been mixing it with eggs and bread crumble. 

It came out just perfect.

I also had a vegetable  soup with chicken peas and rice. 

I enjoy cooking as much as everything else..  around the house.

After dinner I went to the gym as it was my Yoga night with Erica. Erica is the lady at my right hand side of this picture. At Yoga we are doing very similar movements as at the center.  More difficult for me.. yet it is a non judgmental environment as Erica says.

After Yoga I started doing cycle with Lolita and finally at 7pm it was time for me to go back to the apartment.

At the gym I have greeted Frank the manager here pictures at my left hand side.

Robert did my coverage at the gym as right now I not cleared to go over there by myself..

It is fine as CNS has a lot of responsibility on everybody and on my well being as well.

At home anyway I got a shower then a light snack and went to bed.

Before going to bed a wished goodnight to my family... "Good night Kiddos"

This morning I wake up early as usual prepared for my day.

Had a good breakfast as usual. Simona my wife had left early but I got a glimpse of  her leaving the apartment.

Simona is always on the move always running around after something .. So it is hard for me to catch her for more than a few minutes during the day..

Well today I snapped a picture of a great electric car ( The whole Electric Fiat 500)

I think you would appreciate its greenness and respect for the environment.

At the clinic I had CR at Starbucks with Erica Sama.

CR is PT for the mind..

Afterward I had Yoga with Amy. As I was the only one this morning we had the opportunity to do some advanced staff we normally don't do here at the clinic.

I was telling Amy that the Yoga at the gym is a great for me and it is quite similar to the program here at CNS. I am sure she understands this point.

Well during the morning I left stickers on Sarah Desk. They are for Ian her youngest son. I am normally taking it to her as I know she appreciates my thought.

By the way I was also paid today by Michael and CNS. Next time is going to be January 6th.

It is the Epiphany day  as the night between the 5th and the 6th in Italy is the last holidays for Xmas time..

Well enjoy the reading..

thank you all.

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Monday 22 second post

I went to see the movie Night at the Museum

As usual I met Morgan

And Inez a new smiling person for me.

As it was the winder solstice I took the opportunity to write to my family

A small drawing for Lapo, our youngest and a letter for Chicco our eldest now 9 written in English and block letter.

I have also brought a happy Xmas card  for Ian - who is the youngest son's of my Sarah my Case Manager..

I need to go..

Please enjoy the reading ..I am doing my best...

Simona my wife and our kids are doing their bests in life as they are getting stronger and better..

in Arts at school..

in everything.

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Monday December 22

Already today we are a month away from my wife  Simona's B-day..
It is a big celebration for our family.
Coincidentally my mom in Verona has the same B-day date.. call it a Freudian coincidence..!

On Friday after the clinic I went to the 24 fitness gym to dance Zumba with honey
Honey is the lady at my left hand side. I had brought a sticker for the daughter as well.
After the gym I went back to the apartment.

Well my weekend was really good.
On Saturday I have done all the cleaning activities for the house.


The usual tasks of the weekend.. including  cleaning the kitchen, restroom and cleaning all the floors and surfaces.  As there is a lot of dust around I paid attention to the surfaces as I like a clean and fresh environment.

I have changed my bed and washed all my clothes.. it is all folded nicely in my closet.

In the morning I went to do Grocery shopping at Trader Joe's.
I like this place as I am familiar with everybody. They call me Joseph!

I have brought a flower to Jamie ( she is the lady at my left hand side) and a Xmas ball for her family.

She mentioned that she would give it to Delaney her daughter as otherwise Logan her son would drought it at the wall. 

 This time the Hawaiian hi was very popular over there!

This is Meredith.

I spent $74.41  as I was careful in sticking to my grocery list. 

I have brought the reusable bags so  Simona's number was entered in the raffle.

Also I have collected stickers for Ian. Ian is the youngest son of  my  Case Manager Sarah.

I have left a letter with the stickers and a happy Xmas note on her desk this morning.

It is a gesture of courtesy on her behalf.

Afterward I went to the movie theater... I run out of space..

Friday December 19

Already yesterday it was a Thursday and  I went to the gym as it was my Zumba day.
Before hand I had a wonderful dinner. Chicken Teryaki with Jasmine rice and a staffed mushroom.

I called home and heart Lapo playing the piano. He is an adorable young kid.

He made me lessening to his piano piece. A great kid in fact, he is following the steps of his eldest brother Chicco.

Afterward our kids went to Taekwon do with Marina and I went to the gym as it was my Zumba night, yesterday it was Suzy leading the dance.

This is Jerry at the gym.

this is Frank the Manager. He told me he is not going to be there today.

 Christina drove me back and forth from the apartment.

when she arrived I was doing cycle with Lolita.. as she was there it meant it was time to go back home.

Today at the clinic after chatting with Don a very good friend of mine, We talked about a lot of things among other about being as valuable as a Stradivari  violin. 

I mentioned him that my grand father used to build violins ( clearly not at the level of Stradivari... ). I mentioned that our kids play music very well, they are both working at their piano skills. It is very good for the development of the brain to lean to play music at an early age.. Well I am very proud as our kiddos are great piano players.

Afterward  I  I worked on my CR (PT for the brain) and finally had a good PT session. A good run is a great way to start the weekend,, beside it comes complimentary from Dr. Madrilehjo  my endocrinologist in charge of my recovery..

After a good home prepared lunch based on a healthy salad with avocado, tostadas and a lot of good  staff..

All home prepared food.

Early on today I met Dr. Ashley and also met Nick his son. Dr. Ashley is the founder of CNS.

They are all very nice people and  very pleasant. As they are very busy I had a quick hello with them.

I have to say that I am lucky as I have a wonderful Case Manager in Sarah and I have a wonderful place on my shoulders to get better.

Sarah invited me today to chat but I thought that I trust Sarah very much and we are both very busy person. 

I am busy with my own recovery process she is so busy with all the cases she is handling..

You see it is all well.

I am getting stronger and more independent in my therapy so it is best for me to stay here for a bit longer.

Patience is what makes us stronger. The brain is a beautiful organ that needs to be retrained after an injury. It has been proven that it is doable.. it is called Neuroplasticity.

Apparently some tasks are repetitive but it has been shown that they have been designed  on purpose to retrain the brain to get better.. 

My profession right now is to get better and do all the bests to move along in this recovery..

I am not alone,., but I like to be independent at my best.

Hence here is the little summary before the weekend.

Simona mon amour don't you worry.. you are the best..

But you keep doing Zumba at a different gym,

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Tuesday December 18 2014

Already, when I came back to the apartment yesterday I wrote a letter to my wife.

The truth is that it is a letter of complaints for the current condition at CNS.

The place is overcrowd, it lacks the necessary infrastructure to handle all its population together with  their family members who consume as many resource as others without much of consideration or necessary politeness.

The truth is that CNS is overpopulated  and can not handle everybody and should start to face reality..

its own capacity has been reached long time ago.

As a result of this points CNS your quality of care as been decreasing.. 

Apparently you are happy with these conditions and in fact you are looking at this matter as an upside. The higher the patients the higher the revenues.

Apparently overcrowding is a shared issue of many facilities in California. Among the few are the correction facilities in California. Luckily once in a while to correct this matter you have an amnesty that resets the local population and resources to the proper level.

CNS should consider providing Amnesty to a bunch of people to release the current overcrowding..

Perhaps it is a concept too hard to grasp.. or too simple to implement..

Perhaps it has something to do about revenues that is the truth under the rag.... 

After ward as I conveyed my point, I have been writing to my boys. A letter to the both of them in English and capital letter then a little drawing for Lapo our youngest.

Both the kiddos are really looking forward for my letters, they will be kept as a souvenir of my little vacation at CNS..

The funny thing is that I did not have to book a plane nor a car to come to this vacation..

It is not a cruise nor a fancy place it is a basic simple overcrowded place where ..

well you know exactly what this place is about..

 bot worth it of my time to spend ..

Yesterday I went to the gym and did cycle with Angie. She is the lady at my left hand side.

Her boyfriends and kid are doing great. 

I went over there with CNS staff and got dropped off.

Afterward I started doing body pump with Sylvia and finally at 7pm it was time to go back to the apartment 421..

Yesterday I also have been booking for movie for  Saturday.. 

Finally after the gym I have got a shower and a light snack then my Divalproex, Melatonin and Trazodone before going to bed..

It was night and then the sun came up again.

This morning I woke up early cleaned up myself. 

Had a quick breakfast..

Cleaned up everything left the apartment cleaned and I took the bus..

In the meanwhile I snapped a goofy picture. Brad, Jarron and James helped me a lot..

Finally I came to the clinic left stickers for Ian on Sarah desk and started working..

It is all good.

I will need to go..

Sincerely

Have a great day..

Remember Quality means  caring a bit ..

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Wednesday December 17

Already today is a nice day here in Bakersfield.
A nice day when I am looking around for my lost skateboard,, Sarah confirmed that she took it away for her son Ian as a Xmas present. It is a perfect use  and a perfect present for a brand new skate board..

Sarah is always looking after me and making sure things are perfectly done..this is why she is my preferred  Case Manager..

Simona is right now in  S.Francisco attending a conference. Our kids are taken care by Marina our nanny. A good friend of the family Laura also came from Kansas to stay at home with the family,

Yesterday it was a Tuesday and this is the unfolding of my evening after the clinic.

 I went home and had a wonderful dinner. I have been preparing dumplings (My wife Simona mentioned that it is  really good and in fact I agree with her). Dumplings from Trader Joe's are very easy to prepare: just microwave for a few minute on a high setting. As a side I have been making staffed portobella  mushrooms. I staffed them with a mixture of crumble bread, Quinoa and spices.
Baked it for 30 minute in the oven and finally for the last 10 minute I used the broil settings to produce  a nice crust on the top.
Really good in fact.. Here is the results of my work at the apartment.

Meanwhile I have been writing a letter to my family. I am writing as much as I can to both Chicco and Lapo about my day..Chicco is an avid reader so whenever I see him I have a pack of letters prepared for him.

Typically I have also a small drawing for Lapo our youngest and also a good loving letter for  my wife Simona.

I have also been writing to Amie's daughters: Madison and Olivia. Amie is our yoga teacher her at the clinic. I normally bring her a very simple things for her daughters. 

In the evening I talked with Chris.He is Steve's son.

I really looks like him.

I did not go the gym as I went to Walmart to do Personal Shopping at Walmart . I have purchased a container for my apartment so that I can get rid off the last carton box and therefore complete my little house renovation project. 

Everything went well over there..I stayed on Budget and stirred away from McDonald as I came back early wit a staff. My wife gave me Personal Money to use so at this time I do not have to request it to my RTC. However I am administering the money very carefully..

Today at the clinic I had CR (PT for the mind)  with Michelle. I worked on the Parrot Program.

1) Parrot Program 7 letter 7 second  completed 20 correct 15, 75% av response time 4.25

2) Memory for direction level 3 completed 38 correct 21, 71% time 4.32

Afterward I had Yoga with Amy. We worked well in the room. I gave her a nice little letter for her  two daughters. A written  letter in English and block letter for Madison (11) and a drawing for Olivia (4). I  am exchanging with them stickers, drawing and letter as a gesture of kindness.

Thinking it thought it parallels what I am doing for our two sons. It is all good ..

Soon It will be lunch time..

Please enjoy the reading as I have enjoyed writing to you.

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Xmas card

I have received from Peter this funny list.. I am passing to Father Xmas sure that he will understand the message..:)

Sincerely

Giuseppe

Tuesday December 16

Yesterday after the therapy I came back to the apartment for a dinner.

I prepared chicken tender on breaded on crumble bread..seasoned with light spices and dressed with orange juice.

A side salad with spinach and tomatoes then completed the dinner.

Afterward  I went to the 24 fitness gym as it was Yoga bight.

As usual Melissa was ready over there to great me with a smile and to pose with me for a picture.

After the yoga Erica the teacher came to snap a picture with me.. she is the lady at my right hand side.. My yoga mad is also shown below. Amy the Yoga teacher from CNS has brought it to me. 

I went to the gym with Maricela. It was the first time that she was coming to the gym with me so we helped out each other on the schedule and on the use of the radio from the van.

After the gym since I had as usual only a hour worth of coverage it was time to go back to the apartment.

As I was explaining yesterday to Maricela.. it was too late and too cold to stop by along the way for a long neck.. she quickly agreed with me and so we came back home. After a shower and a light snack it was time to go to bed.

Today I wake up early as usual and did all my staff.

I had all my breakfast and clearly enjoyed in peace..while lessening to NPR radio.

The newscast  from the world is  always a good source of information and I am enjoying lessening to it...

I had my breakfast -lovely - thanks  washed everything and left the apartment in order afterward it was time for me to get out.. 

I feel claustrophobic being in that apartment.. my real life starts whenever I can being outside at the gym or else..The gym is whenever I have all my acquaintances as I normally meet the people I am familiar with over there. Some of them disappear from one day to the next.. hence they are no important .. let them be gone..

I my self will disappear one day.. 

Until then mon pot tu n'as pas compris comment quelle est la situation par la.. 

Tu vas parler francais jusqu'a' ce moment la?

Quizas tu puedes ablar en Espagnol tambien..

Oppure pui parlare in Italiano visto che eri Italiano..

Until them you pick the language to speak..

You see the one who gave me the idea to switch languages a lot? 

Well odd to say I have got the idea from Lapo our little one.

He speaks Spanglish, a mixture of  both languages as at school he speaks English and at home with Marina our Nanny he speaks Spanish a lot.

He is spending so much time by himself and with Marina that he is adopting her language as well.

Well enjoy the reading..

Sincerely

Giuseppe